You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
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