He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Just puked most of my soul out..
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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