The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
