She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
You're like the curious george of whores
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
