did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
