you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
