just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
