ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
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