I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
