too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
Randomize
