just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize