how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
