I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Randomize
