i wish starbucks made bloody marys
lets start a swedish sibling band together
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
