ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
