This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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