i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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