Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
