You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
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