whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
