im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
