I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
