foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Randomize
