Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
