Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
