fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
