I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
