she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
