Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
