Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
NoShamevember. You game?
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize