The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
