I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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