there's paper in my vomit.
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Randomize
