Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
