My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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