he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize