you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
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