it hurts more in the daytime
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
