Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Randomize
