I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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