I wannas sexs uuuuu
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
