I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
