I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
