Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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