is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
