i wish there were pregnant emoticons
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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