Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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