I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
