I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
