Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Randomize
