So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
