NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
