And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Randomize
