Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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