Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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