maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
