His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
They just sang me a song about how small my dick is in front of the whole bar
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
