Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
