And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize