Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Vodka?
Forever.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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