So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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