dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
