Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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