I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Randomize
